暴雪真英雄,杰伦真汉子:揭秘d3开发内幕[非原创][施工完毕][翻译][英化]

作者: 魏延是反贼. 分类: 游戏, 见闻·新闻

暴雪真英雄,杰伦真汉子:揭秘d3开发内幕
        “我们又被骂了,jay”Bashiok温柔的从背后抱住了jay,每当在论坛上受到委屈,他总会把脸贴在jay宽厚的背上,去感受他强烈的男人气息,这总会让他的心情重新变好。
jay轻轻拍了拍他的手:“没关系,b,没关系,上帝知道,上帝知道……”

2008年5月14日,美国五角大楼多国会议厅,1900时
         虫族来了!
        “经过多方努力严密调查取证”美国国防部长朝大屏幕中的中日韩法俄英等国的国防部长点了点头,“我们确认地球上地震带的存在并非自然形成,半人马座比邻星上的类虫人智能生物很久之前曾造访过地球,并在地球多处放置了重力波控制器,而控制器所在位置便是现今地震带的位置。他们此做法的目的不明,但有证据表明他们会在2012年12月21日激活所有的控制器,届时强烈的震动将会粉碎地球的地质结构,地壳将被撕裂,地球核心的熔岩将会喷涌而出,融化一切,那将是人类的末日,地球的末日”,他停顿了片刻,视线逐一扫过各国国防部长,“我们绝不能让其发生!”
        “幸运的是我们找到了他们离开时在月球背面留下的星际传送门,我们会尽快创建一支星际远征军,我们的远征军会在4年后的今天登陆比邻星,我们会一步步踏入他们的魔窟,消灭他们的罪恶之源,摧毁他们的控制器总开关,最终,我们会拯救人类,拯救地球!”
        “耶!!!!!!”与会代表们兴奋的唱起了各自的国歌

2008年5月15日,暴雪总部会议室,1430时
        Mike Morhaime心情既兴奋又黯淡,兴奋的是世界各国国防部竟然全体表决通过交给暴雪如此重要的任务,可见暴雪出品必属精品已经全球皆知了,黯淡的原因则是,一旦开始此任务,暴雪的名号将会彻底抹黑,一切的荣耀将会随之而去。但是与拯救全人类相比,虚名又算得了什么呢?
        总部的全体人员都到齐了,就连负责打扫卫生的几个大叔大妈也悉数到场,这是Mike Morhaime的决定,如此重大的决定,他必须对旗下的员工绝对诚实。
        “我将要说的话,属于绝对机密,请大家严格保密,否则会被人类拯救部秘密处决,请大家不要以身试法。”mike很高兴的看到大家的面孔凝重起来,很好。
         “今天上午国防部部长造访了我们公司,告诉我一个令人震惊的消息,也告诉我一个让我感到荣耀的决定,现在我将荣耀转送给你们。”
         Mike Morhaime开始讲述比邻星人的存在,讲述他们邪恶的计划,讲述人类拯救部的先头侦察部队在比邻星上得到了大量资料,讲述比邻星人强健的身体,讲述人类拯救部对暴雪的期望。
        “人类从来没遇到过如此强悍的敌人,他们行动迅速,速度比我们经过生理强化的士兵还要快,他们皮厚血长,坚韧的皮肤可以承认普通坦克的轰击而毫发无伤,他们在持续流血的情况下战斗力丝毫不减,就算受了重伤,还能坚持战斗数个小时,他们基于不同的基因,会带有与生俱来的强化战斗技能,有的行动比同类更迅速,有的会埋设不停旋转的激光发生器,有的甚至会召唤大地,短时间改变地形,将他们的敌人困在其中,总之,他们比我们人类强大太多。为求胜利,人类拯救部要求我们暴雪编写一款模拟和解决问题的游戏,因为在这世界上,唯一有能力做出这款游戏的公司,就是我们暴雪!”
        “Hell Yeah!”Mike Morhaime振臂高呼,然后很欣慰的看到大家逐渐从震惊中反应过来,开始应和他,他们都是适应性极强的人,他们是人中之龙,他想,当他看到wow制作团队里那个负责打扫卫生的家伙跳起了恰恰时,他一直悬在半空的心终于放下了。
我们可以,我们能做到
        “我需要志愿者”等大家逐渐平静下来看,他继续自己的义务“由于本次任务的特殊性,我会解散原有diablo3制作团队,我需要大家自愿加入这个团队,我会对你们诚实,当你们加入团队,你们会面临巨大的牺牲。”
        “你们会制作这款名为diablo3的游戏,你们会让其中的怪物像比邻星人一样强大无比,你们会让进入的玩家像人类士兵一样被怪虐杀,你们会让这个游戏像现实一样极度不平衡,你们会让游戏bug无数,因为我们的士兵在比邻星上没有天时地利,你们会彻底毁掉diablo系列的名声,你们会被愤怒的玩家咒骂,你们会被媒体评论奚落,你们会成为diablo系列的终结者,在后世的游戏编年史上你们会被记上耻辱之名”
        mike清了清哽咽的嗓子,继续道“你们要在发售前用尽一切手段提高diablo3的销量,以提高用户的基数,以提高玩家发现正确的击杀比邻星人方法的概率,你们去吹捧,你们去谩骂,你们去毁掉diablo3,你们被称为耻辱,但你们会拯救世界。”
        “你们可以尽情透支暴雪的名声,但我不会在公开场合支持你们……那么,你们谁来志愿加入diablo3制作团队呢?”mike满怀希望的望向大家。
        毁掉暴雪自己辛苦建立了几十年的名声?谁有勇气担负起如此的骂名,谁敢做历史的罪人? 大家吵作一团,却无一人自愿出列。mike有些失望,但并不意外。
        这个时候,跳恰恰后一直默默无语的wow团队卫生清理工弱弱的站了出来,“我来做”他小声的说,但大家正在争吵,除了mike没人听到他在说什么,于是他加大了音量“我来做!”他大声的说,大家纷纷停下争吵,看着他,“我来做diablo3,我来承担这个骂名,我来做历史的罪人”,他一字一句坚定无比的说“我来拯救人类”
        mike看着他略微变形的面孔,和他坚定的眼神,不由的留下了眼泪。
        “我和你一起,jay!”。wow团队的另一个卫生清理工Bashiok第二个站出来,誓和jay共存亡,两个人的手亲切的握在了一起,两个人纯洁的男男关系再一次得到了升华。
目睹此情此景,似乎让大家重新找回了勇气。
“我加入!”
“我加入!”

        长期以来wow,sc2等制作组中的卫生清理工打扫厕所跑腿打杂修电脑等等行业精英纷纷站出来,和jay bashiok站在了一起,新的diablo3团队成了,人类有救了!
        “你们将被称为diablo3远征队”,Mike Morhaime望着他们,“你们将被无数的玩家辱骂问候亲人”
他望着jay“很多人会想杀了你”
        “我知道”jay回望的目光坚定无比“我会在游戏里设立自己的形象,我会让他们杀掉我,我会让他们得到满足,我会让他们得到成就”
        Bashiok深情的捏了下jay的屁股:“加上我,我会尽力分担你的骂名”
        “祝你们好运”mike把手中装有比邻星人资料的u盘交给了jay

2008年8月3日,jay家中,2237时
        “美工组的头Brian Morrisroe承受不了压力,辞职了”
        “我知道,这么大的压力,我不怪他,我们再去招聘新的就是了,我们是暴雪,大家都喜欢来暴雪工作”
        “么么么么么么么……”
        “小b,好痒好讨厌……”

2012年5月14日,暴雪公司总部,2300时
       “小b?”
        “jay?”
        “去告诉各大区服务器管理员,随机制造一些登陆错误”
        “为什么?”
        “我们的士兵传送到比邻星的时候发生了多起传送错误,我们必须完美的模拟这一过程”
        “好的,马上去办,爱你,jay”
        “也爱你,小b”

2012年5月17日,暴雪总部,1039时
        “很多人都在刷act2的箱子”
        “没事,我们的士兵刚摧毁了比邻星人的一个据点,里面有大量的强力战斗装备和武器,经过我方科技部改造后现已装备到士兵手里,士兵战力大增,为完美模拟,先让玩家刷一段时间提高下装备,过几天再改掉箱子掉落”
        “好的,爱你,jay”
        “也爱你,b”

2012年5月23日,暴雪公司总部,1400时
        “法师和dh的技能设计失误,我们的士兵并没有如此强力的技能”
        “砍掉”
        “法师的闪现有bug,会偶尔出现闪回到原地的bug”
         “士兵的传送装置也有类似bug,所以尽量维持法师的这个bug,告诉程序,别无意中fix这个bug”
        “好的,爱你,jay”
        “也爱你,b”

2012年6月5日,暴雪总部,1230时
        “大家对a2 a3 a4的难度不满,并且对a1,a2的掉落不满,认为装备太难取得”
        “我们的士兵取得比邻星人装备的几率也是这么低,比邻星人还是那么难杀,甭搭理他们”
        “但是如果不做出改动,玩家人数会降低,影响有效杀怪方式的出现”
         “好吧,那就让a1 a2也掉最高等级的装备,但a3 a4的掉落降到原来的1/3,并且降低a2 a3 a4怪的伤害,但提高他们使用特殊技能的频率,取消任务怪的掉落,取消罐子的掉落,取消mf对箱子的作用,总之,让装备的掉落和改之前持平”
        “好的,爱你,jay”
        “也爱你,b”

2012年6月20日,暴雪总部,0909时
        不知感恩的玩家又在喷ias的改动了,委屈的Bashiok突然有些失落,你们这些玩家缩在安逸的家里玩着游戏,丝毫不知我们正在拯救你们可悲的生命,而比邻星上的士兵们更是用自己的生命换来你们的生存,你们还不知足吗?激动之下,竟然把aren’t you thankful打到了帖子的回复里。刚想删掉,转念一想,放着吧,这样可以吸引一下大家对亲爱的jay的仇恨了,就这么放着,让大家来喷我,放过亲爱的jay吧。

2012年6月27日,暴雪总部,0909时
        “随着我方士兵的推进,普通比邻星士兵的攻击伤害越来越高了”
        “告诉程序,偷偷增加怪的伤害,一次不要增加太多,每隔几天增加一次”
        “好的,爱你,jay”
        “也爱你,b”

2012年6月27日,暴雪总部,1930时
        Jay Wilson坐在办公桌前看论坛上玩家对他的指责,有玩家说暴雪背地里对游戏做出改动而不告诉玩家很不公平,公平? Jay淡淡一笑,战争,从来就不公平。

Blizzard the true hero, Jay the real man. Aftershow of Diablo III development.
        “We were accused, again. Joey.” Boishak hugged Joey from behind tenderly. He always pressed his face on Joey’s generous back to feel the masculinity, whenever he was aggrieved by the forum. This will always recharge him. Joey patted his hand softly: “Doesn’t matter… Doesn’t matter… B… Doesn’t matter… In the name of God… In the name of God…”

19:00 May 14th, 2008. Pentagon.
        Zerg is coming!
        “Through tremendous efforts on the rigorous investigation, we got strong enough evidence to support an astonishing conclusion.” U. S. Secretary of Defense nodded to the Ministers of Defense from China, Japan, Simida, France, Russia and U. K. displayed in the screen. “It was confirmed that the seismic zone on Earth was not naturally formed. In fact, the Zerg-like intelligent creatures from Proxima Centauri had visited Earth long before and placed Gravity Wave Manipulators (GWM) deep in the crust. The locations for the GWM are called seismic zone now. It is still unclear that what their final purpose is, however evidence indicates that they will activate all GWM in Dec. 21st, 2012, which would cause a huge shock on the crust and destroy the geological structure. The crust will be torn. The lava from the Earth’s core will be poured forth and melt everything. That is the end of human being. That is the end of the world.” He paused for a short moment, looked at the defense ministers.   “We have to stop it.”
         “Fortunately, we have found the interstellar portal on the back of the Moon: they built them and abandoned them when they left the Earth. We will create an interplanetary expeditionary force as soon as possible. Our expeditionary force will land on Proxima Centauri in exactly four years. Our force will step into their snare, destroy the prime evil, wreck their central switch of GWM, and, ultimately, save the human being, save the Earth.”

        “Simida!” ministers were excited and sang their national anthem for celebration.

14:30 May 15th, 2008. Conference Hall, Blizzard Headquarter.
         Michael Maihorme was both excited and worried. The defense ministers approved to assign the Blizzard such an important task. This was an unbeatable evidence that “Have problem? Find Blizzard” is a world-wide recognized axiom. But the task itself would discredit Blizzard completely. All the glory would go with the wind. However, does the glory worth 50 cents when compared with the rescue of all mankind?
        Everyone in the headquarter was gathered, including the gays responsible for cleaning affairs, to take this confidential conference. This was Michael’s decision. He must keep honest to all his staffs. “What I’m going to say is confidential, absolutely confidential. Any leakage will cause a decapitation penalty by the Ministry of Rescuing Human Being. Please leave it a regulation. Do not try.” Michael was glad that everyone was dignified. Everything was OK.
        “The Minister of Defense visited our company this morning and told me shocking news. Also he told me something about a glorious decision and now I decide to forward the glory to you.”
Michael Maihorme started with the existence with the creature on Proxima Centauri. He explained their evil plans, the information the expeditionary had got from Proxima Centauri, the strong body these creature had, and the high expectation of Ministry of Rescuing Human Being to Blizzard.
        “We have never encountered such powerful enemies. They are fast, faster than our physiologically-strengthened soldiers. They are tough, have great amount of Health Point. Their thick skin can stand the bombardment of regular tanks. They can also stick to high level of fighting in the case of continuous bleeding. They can still go on fighting for several hours after heavily injured. They also have different kinds of fighting skills due to genetic mutation. Some of them are extremely faster. Some can bury laser generator that rotates and causes great harm. Some can even summon to the earth and change the landscape to trap their enemy. In general, they are much stronger than us. In order to achieve the final victory, the Ministry of Rescuing Human Being request us, Blizzard, to produce a game that can simulation and solve the problem. We Blizzard is the only company that can make it!”
        “Hell Yeah!” Michael shouted, and then very pleased to see a gradual shift from shock to react. Everyone here holds great adaptability. They are outstanding persons. He started to ease down when he saw the one in responsible of cleaning for WoW group hopping Cha Cha
        We can do. We can.
        “I need volunteers.” He continued his obligation when everyone was gradually calmed. “I will dismiss the original Diablo III production team. I hope you can join this group but to be honest, you will face a huge sacrifice if you join this group.”
        “You will make this Diablo III game. You shall make the monsters as strong as the soldiers from Proxima Centauri. You shall make the players massacred by the monsters like our soldiers did, doing, and will do. You shall make this game extremely unbalanced, like the reality. You shall manipulate bunch of bugs since our force does not have any advantage on Proxima Centauri. You will completely destroy the reputation of Diablo III. You will be cursed by the f**king angry players. You will be joked by the f**king media. You will be the terminator of Diablo series. You will be nailed on the shame column of the future game chronicle.”
        Michael cleared his choking voice and continued, “You must increase the Diablo III pre-release sales number by all means to increase the user base and in turn increase the possibility of players finding the correct way of defeating Proxima Centauri soldiers. You will tout, abuse, and destroy Diablo III. You will be called humiliation, but you will save the world.”
        “You can overdraft Blizzard’s reputation as you wish. But I will never support you publicly. So, decision time. Who want to join Diablo III production team?” Michael looked to everyone with a strong hope.
        Destroy the reputation of Blizzard? A game company that stands on the top of the world for decades? Who will take this infamy? Who will be the criminal of history? Noisy heap, no volunteer. Michael is disappointed, but not surprised.
         At that time, the Cha Cha guy hesitantly stood out after a long time of silence. “I do.” He whispered, but nobody heard except Michael. He then shouted, “I do!” The crowd stopped bickering and looked at him. “I will make Diablo III, take the infamy, be the criminal of history,” he firmly said, then “and save the mankind.”
        Michael could not help tearing when looking at his slightly deformed face and his determined look.
        “I’m with you, Joey!” Boishak, another cleaner of WoW group also stood out. They sweared to be live and dead together. Their relationship was once again sublimated.
        The crowd seems to find their courage with this scene.
        “I do!”
        “I do!”

        The elites of cleaning, repairing computer and guys doing other errands odd jobs from WoW and SC2 production group standed out and beside Joey with Boishak. A new Diablo III production group. Mankind will be saved!
        “You will be called Diablo III expedition.” Michael looked at them. “You will be curse by numerous players, along with your family.”
        He looked at Joey. “They want to kill you.”
        “I know.” Joey firmly looked back to Michael. “I will create my image in the game and let them kill me. I will satisfy them, will give them an achievement.”
        Boishak affectionately pinched Joey’s ass. “I’m with you. I will try my best to share your infamy.”
        “Wish you good luck.” Michael gave the USB flash drive with information on Proxima Centauri to Joey.

22:37 Aug 3rd, 2008. Joey Home.
        “Brille Morrison, the head of the art group, resigned due to pressure.”
        “I know that. I know the pressure. I do not blame him. We can recruit a new one. We are Blizzard and everyone want to work for it.”
        “MMMMMMMMMMMMMM UUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”
        “Itching~ dear B~”

23:00 May 14th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        “Dear B?”
        “Jo?”
        “Let the server administrators to generate some random logging error”
         “Why?”
        “Our soldiers are facing some transportation error. We must perfectly simuate this process.”
        “OK~ Now~ Luv u Jo~”
        “Ditto B~”

10:39 May 17th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        “Many players are exploiting a chamber in Act 2.”
        “That’s Fine. Our force just destroyed a stronghold and found a large amount of powerful equipment. Our soldiers now hold these transformed equipment and their combat power is greatly improved. We can let the players to go on exploiting for several days to simulate this issue. We can change the loot of that chamber later.”
        “OK~ Now~ Luv u Jo~”
        “Ditto B~”

14:00 May 23th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        “We made mistakes in the design of skills for Wizard and Demon Hunter. Our soldiers do not have such strong skills.”
        “Nerf it.”
        “There is a bug in Wizards’ transport skill. Occasionally the player will be transport to their original position.”
        “There is a similar in our force’s transport equipment. So just maintain this bug. Tell the coder, don’t fix this bug.”
        “OK~ Now~ Luv u Jo~”
        “Ditto B~”

12:30 Jun 5th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        “Players are not satisfied with the difficulty of Act 2, 3, and 4. They also feel angry about the loot of Act 1 and 2. They think the gears are too hard to obtain.”
        “Out soldiers have the same possibility of obtaining the equipment of Proxima Centauri. Their force are even harder to kill. Let the players shut up.”
        “But, no modifications, less players. This will hamper the occurrence of ways for effective kill enemy.”
        “Okay, then let players loot best gears from Act 1 and 2, but the loot rate for Act 3 and 4 be 1/3 of their original rate. Reduce the damage done by monster in Act 2, 3, and 4, but increase the frequency of their special skills. Cancel the loot from quest monster. Cancel the loot from vases. Cancel the effect of Magic Find on chamber. In a word, maintain the drop rate unchanged.”
        “OK~ Now~ Luv u Jo~”
        “Ditto B~”

09:09 Jun 20th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        These f**king ungrateful players again vituperating the changes on Increased Attack Speed. Boishak the aggrieved suddenly felt disappointing. You f**king players staying at home playing games comfortably, without any knowledge that we are saving your pathetic lives. Our soldiers on Proxima Centauri are even sacrificing themselves for your lives. Aren’t you thankful? Under anger, Boishak even typed “Aren’t you thankful” in the reply of a post. At first he wanted to delete this post. Then an idea come to his mind. Just leave it there. It can distract some of the anger from my dear Joey. Come on s** of b****, give Joey a break.

09:09 Jun 27th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        “With the advancement of our force, the damage of enemy is increasing.”
        “Tell our server administrator, change the damage done by the monsters. Don’t change too severely. One time in several day is enough.”
        “OK~ Now~ Luv u Jo~”
        “Ditto B~”

19:30 Jun 27th, 2012. Blizzard Headquarter.
        Joey Wolsin sitting in front of his desk, looking at the accusation against him. Someone said that it was unfair that Blizzard changed the game without notifying the players. Unfair? Joey smiled. War is not fair.

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